Tuesday, January 27, 2009

PG-13 Warning . . .

. . . . even though it is from a PG-12 world.

The difference in the life of kids now and life when I was a kid amazes me.

Last night I had The Man at Scouts. While the local Garden Club ladies were, unfortunately, boring this group of Scouts to death, one of the other mom’s and a couple of father’s and I were talking.

Nothing deep.


One dad mentioned boys getting interested in girls by the time they are 14 and then there goes Scouts. Too much competition. The mom says “what are you talking about? We are already there, and I don’t mean with my oldest, but with . . . (her 7th grader – 12 year old).

The mom proceeds, with a comfortable laugh, to tell us a tale from the recent Scout Ski Trip. She drove, with just her boys, in their own vehicle. She stopped at a convenient store to fill up and get something to drink.

When she gets back into the car, her sons are giggling in the backseat.

She says “what’s up?”

Boys “nothing”

Mom “I know better than that”

Boys “ok, since we talk about everything and weird stuff too … well the bathroom had a condom machine and we bought the assorted pack”

Me and one of the fathers: taken aback!!!

Mom “I told them, where do plan on using those? You are at an all boys event?”

Boy “You never know who you might run into! See, one has bumps, one is flavored, and one . . . “

I have no idea what the last one was because I was in a state of shock! Not that condom conversations have not come up with my kids, well one of them. Not because I am a prude. I actually have a dirty mind a lot of the time – but I control where and with whom that side shows.

I was in shock that basically she “seemed” to have been ok that her 12 year old was looking for the opportunity!! I was shocked that no moral lesson was administered. I was shocked more that she let them keep the above mentioned items and thought it was funny how big the pack made his wallet!

Then today, I was telling the college student, that works part time at the shop, about it. Her younger brother is in the 6th grade at the same school as The Man. And her mom makes her have the birds 'n bees conversations with him. He was telling her, the other day, things that kids are saying AND putting on their MySpace pages. Items related to alternative lifestyles, nd switching back and forth and so on. 6th Graders!!!! 6th graders contemplating that kind of lifestyle and experimenting?? Very disheartening.

I probably should not be. Demolition D came home with all kinds of announcements and questions at a much younger age, thanks to the public school transportation. Because of curiosities at such an early age, I resorted to something my mom would ask, just to keep up with what he was being exposed to. I remembered my mom asking me in probably 4th or 5th grade if I had heard anyone using the word “sex” or “sexy.” Sexy, yes, it was how they dressed; they dressed older-like than the rest of us. But at that time I had no inkling of what those words referred to. But it was a great way for my mom to screen and address what I was being exposed to without giving away too much.

As I said above, I incorporated this with Demolition D. He came home one day and asked “Mom, what is a prostitute?” Caught off guard, I asked where he had heard that word. “On the bus.” I told him we would talk about it later. I hit him, after a bit, with the question “do you hear kids talk about the word sex?” He said yes. I asked him what it was. “It is when a man and a women kiss.” That was it. Simple. No need for me to elaborate on that. Later when the first question came up again, I told him it was when a man paid a woman for a kiss. He was satisfied. Until he told his friend the next day what I had said and the friend told him I lied to him. He came home and accused me of lying to him. He was right. So I told him, I didn’t exactly lie, but it was when a man pays a woman for sex. I went ahead and said that because in his young mind, it was the same as the previous answer.

So I decided tonight would be a good time to find out what is being seen and heard and see what might need some further discussion. Time to casually bring up school and inch my way into who is dating whom and so on. It always works well. Once you get the boys talking, they give you more than you expect and it sure makes it easier.

I am happy to say, while The Man probably knows more at 12 than I did at that age, he is fairly innocent, especially compared to his peers. He shared that school is “full of drama” (with a sigh). People dating and breaking up and texting all the time (did you know word does not recognize texting as a word). I asked him what do kids do these days when dating. He said “talking, some kissing, and texting, mostly texting each other.” I dug just a little more and then reminded him he was a gentleman and the girls ladies (I hope), and he was to keep it that way, at least between him and girls.

I am blessed that he can be in world that is seething with immorality, and yet he seems not touched by it. I love that he attended the Created By God class at Church – learned so much, but did not let that aspect of life take over his thoughts. Maybe the fact that he is a video game junkie is not as bad of an interest as others around him. I love that he is still so naive and innocent in many ways. He is The Man!

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.
Psalms 127:3


Finding Pam said...

I did exactely the same thing as you did with my sons. It is good to be naive and stay innocent. I am shocked at how much kids know today and it sadens me.

I thought I left a comment two post back, but alas, these word verifications are getting to me.

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

It is TOUGH out there. You wouldn't believe the things that our principals deal with...sometimes with elementary school students!

Ballerina Girl said...

Shocking isn't it...
well imagine my surprise when my 9 YEAR OLD knows about sex....or what the kids say anyways!
We had to talk with him last year in 3rd GRADE about sex. It was a simple conversation, much like yours about the prostitute and the kiss, but still. Way too young for all of this.
He still seems fairly innocent and I hope that he will talk to me or my hubby like yours do with you.
Brazil does "sex" much younger unfortunately....

Teri said...

It is indeed a different world out there today. We try to keep it real with the kids, but on their current age level. They like to pretend they are so much more in the know, but so far so good. Ack.

Rachel Ann said...

Thank you for stopping by on my SITS day last week...I love all the comments and felt very appreciated. Sorry it has taken me so long to share bloggy love back!

Star Forbis said...

It's scary what kids know today. I was the total opposite. But now, as a mom, I try, like you, to talk with my kids so they're not at the mercy of the world!

And I would have been just as schocked too at the mother who thought it was funny that her 12 year old son bought condoms. And I want to keep him away from my daughters! ;)