Sunday, August 29, 2010

Heavy Heart to Heart Break

I had been excited to blog about a wonderful kayak trip we took Saturday. Life changed that.

My heavy heart from last week gave way to a short term of ahhhhh, quickly replaced with heart break.

Some dear friends (family by a previous marriage) lost their 26 year old son Saturday morning. Wading waist deep in the gulf waters around midnight Friday, he and a friend were knocked off their feet by a large wave and caught in a rip current. The friend managed to get out. Kyle did not. The coast guard found his body about day break Saturday morning. These sweet people have been hit by so much in the past several years - his daughter from his first marriage, lost her fight with cancer; his brother died after heart surgery over a year ago; her father passed away; and now their son.  They are overwhelmed and feel lost at what they are suppose "to do." It is not real to any of us yet, minds just cannot wrap around this. Watching the sudden loss take havoc on these sweet people is nothing short of heart breaking. How I wish we could turn back time and change things.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Ronald Reagan

"You and I are told we must choose between a left or right, but I suggest there is no such thing as a left or right. There is only an up or down. Up to man's age-old dream -- the maximum of individual freedom consistent with order -- or down to the ant heap of totalitarianism. Regardless of their sincerity, their humanitarian motives, those who would sacrifice freedom for security have embarked on this downward path. Plutarch warned, 'The real destroyer of the liberties of the people is he who spreads among them bounties, donations and benefits.' The Founding Fathers knew a government can't control the economy without controlling people. And they knew when a government sets out to do that, it must use force and coercion to achieve its purpose. So we have come to a time for choosing." --Ronald Reagan

Thursday, August 26, 2010


There have been times in the past year, year and a half, that the feeling of being cornered or overwhelmed has been greater than any other feeling. It has been great enough that I had to remind myself to breath.

There have been many moments in the last year when the home dynamics of boomerang kids and teenagers has created anger and resentment like I have not experienced before.

There have been days that dawned with such a great sense of joy the smile could not be touched. Those days where I hoped all could have some of the joy I just knew was overflowing from my cup.

I have experienced so many STRONG emotions.

Last week it was a heavy heart. I was not sure exactly how to express it. It seems every week for the past couple months someone we know has lost someone close to them. It is sad watching these folks go through the loss and feel the void being left.

Last week my husband came home at lunch and said he had received two more emails about co-workers losing family members. One co-worker I do not know. The other I have known since high school when I babysat her children on weekends. He said her niece had died. That stopped me in my tracks. Puzzled I asked, "her neice? She wasn't my age was she?" He answered yes and he continued preparing a sandwich. I then said, "please tell me it wasn't Michelle..."  Still preparing his sandwich and not quite catching on to my tone or concern, he said "yeah, that was her name."

Forty one years old. A mother of an 11 year old and 7 year old. My age. Someone I had also known since high school. We could tweak the "seven degrees of Kevin Bacon" game to fit our world. Our circles have touched in some form or another since I began babysitting for her aunt all those years ago. All those years ago, and yet we are still young. She was at school in her classroom preparing for the new year when a heart aneurysm stopped her earthly world and sent the world of those around her into a spin. It did make my heart heavy for them.

I also realized that other than that feeling, I had hit a sort of plateau. A season of quiet maybe. No extremes. I think I had been spinning some in that unfamiliar spot. What am I suppose to do with this? Something is missing!  But not really. It is a season maybe to just listen. To just breathe. To reach out where I can. And if I can't do anything else, then I can do the same I do in all the other extremes - pray. But I can focus even more on others and their cares and their burdens. And that is what I will do.


Friday, August 20, 2010

Yes! I Got Him!

For weeks I have been trying to capture him.

He is fast!

But I got him today!

Camouflaged as he may be

and a second one on another branch...
See her now?
She sat and watched as the gentleman primped and fluffled
I have never seen a hummingbird sit this long, let alone cleaning his feathers

As soon as he finished she dashed around and they resumed a game of tag they had been playing.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Wordless Wednesday: Savannah Imports and Exports Alive and Well

Older Than I Feel

I don't feel any older than I did 5 years ago. I might feel a little older than I did 10 years ago. But even at that, I still feel as if I am in my 20's.

But as I sat watching the nightly news, I noticed a message being sent in the commercials filling the breaks:

  • Laxatives
  • Heartburn
  • Teeth
Apparently, demographics show the marketing groups that an older, no wait, a more mature crowd, with a little more worn bodies, watches the nightly news, than lets say the fresher, perkier more energenic crowd.

I must be following the wrong crowd - might want to switch up.


Friday, August 13, 2010

I am 16 Going on 17 . . .

My oldest is now 17.

I am now a mother of "high schoolers."  The second week of school coming to an end for my freshman and my junior.

I say we all take off our watches, flip the clocks over, maybe ban time - it is going by sooooo fast!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Worlds Colliding

I find it interesting. I find it exasperating. The world of (some) young adults, and our world of parents, home owners, responsible contributing individuals...

We have many battles of expectations and requests and slow responses or sporadic conformity in our home.

Case in point:

We are a smoke free home. We do not smoke.  A couple of the offspring do.  Our rule is no smoking in the house and throw away your butts. There have been several instances of this being ignored in various forms.

When Traveler first moved back over a year ago, she tried to sneak past that rule, but the screen sorta fell off its perch as she opened it and the cigarette landed on the back step beneath the window. Caught! Addressed.
Moved on.

Last night Ocho's bedroom light was on and I thought he was at work, so I went to turn it off. Surprise! He had come home early and I had missed him coming in. I was so shocked, baffled, embarrassed to barge in that I did not mention how strong the cigarette smell was in his room. Very strong and it seemed that there was a haze.

I started to go back and ask, but hubs is out of state and I did not feel like a confrontation with stepson right before bed, so I sorta shrugged it off as he had been around a bunch of smokers and it was lingering in his clothes and on his body.

I stepped outside this morning to check out the ginger plant that is blooming, and as I walked back to the house, I glanced up and what should I spy?

The screen on his window cocked out of place!  And what was below the window to the side of the step? A cigarette butt!

For awhile, hubs and my lunch routine included watching Judge Judy. On several occasions she would ask a parent if they knew how to tell if a teenager was lying. The answer? The lips were moving. Now Ocho is not a teenager anymore, but I do know that if I say something about it, it will be denied. And for that reason I can't decide if I regret not saying something or not. Probably would not matter, it would amount to just words. I wonder if I nailed the window shut it any sort of message would sink in ...

Why must there be so many ongoing challenges?

But my first ginger bloom of the season is in, can't wait for a few more and the wonderful smell that will waft through the yard!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tator Tots By The Dashboard Light

Ok, well, in the light, on the dashboard, but as were driving home and The Man lined them up to "warm them up" on the scorching  100 degree day, Meatloaf's song for some reason came to mind.  I do love tator tots, and they were on the dashboard... so paradise.


I started off today early with a trip to Sam's and Publix. On my list to make today was Beef Burgundy, and so I needed some Burgundy wine. I grabbed the bottle at Sam's, along with the rest of my list, and headed to check out and make my way to the next stop.

As the cashier rang up my items, the register sounded and would not let her continue.  I don't know if this is a National law, a Sam's rule, a Georgia law, a Dougherty County law, but I could not buy the wine - it was before 8:00 in the morning. 7:33 a.m. to be exact. No alcohol can be sold before 8 a.m.

Luckily by the time I finished at Publix, it was 8:05 and I could make the purchase there.  I don't have a bone to pick in the "fight," I am just curious what the idea is behind the rule. I can't actually wrap my brain around that one. I wonder why not before 8, but you can buy it the rest of the day?

I did check out the list of dumb laws, and in Athens Georgia, if you want to read your favorite book in public to your friends, you have to do it before 2:45 a.m. Another one of those time things...

Of course I can't figure out for the life of me, this one either: In Georgia, it is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket on Sunday.

Things that make you go hmmm......