Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Ask and Receive?

Isn’t it great when you know a prayer is answered? Even a simple one?
I have had a little much needed time off. But I was not looking forward to returning to the routine. I love what I do, but there is apprehension with not knowing what to expect. So not liking the feeling of being slightly overwhelmed with the what if thoughts, I prayed. Prayed that God would use me, that I would feel invigorated about work. And it worked. I got to work and jumped in in getting set up. I felt energized and cheerful.

I asked . . . I recieved . . .

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Now for not asking . . .

Then the snakes in my head woke up. Not about work, that part is still good. Traveler leaves back for school today. This holiday has been different from others due to the fact that we were the portal to World War Craft – online gaming, and we have internet, so she needed our home. We were in the presence of Traveler more than any other vacation/holiday. Granted, she was like The Man with his games, transfixed with the need to be only in the presence with the game itself. There was more interaction between the two of us, so that was a step in the right direction. Poor hubby has to deal with me wanting a friendly relationship and Traveler not being aware that there is any problem and being perfectly happy with things.

I had suggested last week that hubby take Traveler to lunch Friday, since she was leaving. That way they could have some “non-computer” time to chat. They did. We, hubby and me, had decided to take the boys to see a movie Friday night. I invited Traveler to go with us and she did. We had a really good time. While she was here, she made a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches on our little George Foreman. We were given a larger one for Christmas, so I offered for her to take it back to school. She is and she told her dad about it and was excited. She is vegetarian, so I sent two Loaded Baked Potato casseroles with her. Well sorta, she forgot them so we needed to get them to her today. She asked her dad to have lunch with her. I told him I would get them into a bag today and they could pick them up from me at the shop when they went to lunch.

Ok, so this is where the snakes come in. Inclusion – the state of being included. Somehow, this morning, in my mind, I decided they might invite me to join them. Many Tuesday’s I can’t leave for lunch, but today I could. Granted, hubby did not know that, but still, being invited, included would have been nice. So with all the aggravation and truly extreme differences in Traveler’s and my views, I still wanted to be included to feel accepted. Which I know if hubby read this would think is crazy! I also know that is rather narcissistic, but those were my thoughts, my desires.

So while one prayer was answered, I guess I forgot to continue to pray for the relationship between Traveler and me. I am sure come May, after graduation, we will have our next opportunity of togetherness. I don’t know what my prayer would be, except “Lord have Thine own way. . .”


2nd Cup of Coffee said...

You know what? You're not crazy. Or if you are, then we both are. I have had similar feelings with the attending guilt. Sigh. Parenting is not easy, is it.

Teri said...

Keep hanging in there, one answer at a time.