Thursday, April 30, 2009

A Rant and Maid Service Fee



Well Ocho, my stepson, has been moved in since February 14th. We knew there would be some adjustment, and there was and there is!


The first few weeks were quite pleasant. Life has leveled off to not much interaction. He sleeps until he has to go to work, works until 10, 10:30 and stays up late to sleep much of the next day. That in itself might not be that big of deal but some other issues have surfaced.


Like last minute need to wash clothes. Sometimes that means only one outfit. Hits me in my "don't waste" side. I have also realized that he, and Demolition D and The Man might need to be watched for how much laundry detergent they are using. That 32 load container that I grabbed to tie us over last Friday is basically gone, but 32 loads have not gone through that laundry room.


The leaving on of lights and TV's had waned, but in the past week has become too much work to do, apparently. So lights are staying on all night again (and I have chosen to try to ignore and not give up my sleep when I wake and notice). I guess it could be that he has his days and nights mixed up and does not realize that the lit room is actually lit by way of electricity and not natural solar energy. hmmmmm.


The no curfew in exchange for respect of letting us know his plans for the evening (coming home or staying with friends) has had its glitches, but I choose to leave that alone. Demolition D seems unaware of what is happening. So we will leave that battle out.


Then there is the issue of the kitchen. He is more than welcome to fix whatever he would like. The same rules apply though - clean up behind yourself! We now realize that is not a rule, it must be an option. There is a double sink in our kitchen. But we don't hand wash dishes, and even if we did, why should we, Will or myself, after a long day wash the dishes of a completely, healthy, functioning adult??? I digress, we have a double sink, running water, but even better yet, we have this modern appliance called a dishwasher.


It is only a couple inches from the sink.


Why can't the dishes as easily go straight into the dishwasher as into the sink? Why are we responsible for loading his dirty dishes, and seeing to it that the dishwasher runs and emptying the contraption? Well, we don't mind the last two, I would like to find the dishes once they are put up. So we will continue that. BUT, the dirty dishes and food in the sink. Not good.


So Will, respectfully "adult" to "adult" discusses this with Ocho last week at their lunch. Will tries to have lunch with Ocho once a week, just to spend some time together and chat. It is more a match of 20 questions, single word answers. Anyway, Ocho said he ran out of time. Will clearly let him know we are not his maids. He needs to pick up behind himself (and also get his room cleaned up).
Will also brought up a tub issue - cleaning the tub and drain behind himself, especially since there are three of them sharing and so far only The Man is cleaning the drain - since it won't drain by the time he baths (it is full of hair gaaaaroooooosssss). A dumbfounded looked surfaced and Will reiterated "we are not your maids, do you want to clean our drain." He thought that gross.

So yesterday, we come home from the day. No dinners were cooked at home - dinner at church. There in the sink is a bowl and several utensils and next to that an almost completely empty dishwasher (plenty of room). Ocho gets home later and Will calls into me, "are these your dishes?" (he knows they are not, but in trying to be light . . .) Nope. He asks Ocho, Ocho sighs in aggravation and goes to the kitchen to put them in the dishwasher. Will reminds him he needs to pick up behind himself. Should be good, right?


Wrong!


I get up this morning and all I could do is laugh!! There are crumbs and rice on the counter (not alot, but there) and dirty dishes and food crumbs in the sink! He ate after we went to bed and still did not put his dirty plates in the sink!!!


What is the thought here? Is this a stand of defiance or blatant disrespect?? A missing link that baffles my brain . . .


So, I wonder, what would be the going rate for maid service? Do you think if he were to pay us a cleaning fee it would be less aggravating? And, the next adult arrives at our home in less than two weeks, will we survive?



p.s. I love the way Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman capture the adventure of living with teenagers . . . some are so true!!

13 comments:

Faye said...

Very cute post.Where are the s words?Hope you have a great day! Blessings, Faye

tale of many cities said...

ok.. so i must tell you, i have just been through this with my very own son. the good news is.. at least your step-son is working! [mine was, off & on] the bad news.. i firmly believe that it is definitely a sign of disrespect. if you have had the same conversation more than once, and it still continues, it will always continue... until you stop it cold. there has to be a consequence.. even for adult children. heck, i think especially when they're adults!! first thing on my list would be.. give him copy of utility bill to see how much it costs to light the house, and then charge him a portion. second, make him buy his own laundry detergent. and third, may sound funny.. but it works! make him buy & use paper plates and plastic cups & utensils! the bathroom thing.. i would have schedule for cleaning it, so he can't escape pitchin' in with that! and if he can't respect the others using the space.. then how 'bout a water hose out back?! LOL i know.. a bit harsh, but i would say it!! just to shock him into paying attention to what i'm trying to get through to him.[sometimes that worked with my kids.. when those teen ears would block all noise coming in!] i wish you lots of luck... and if you need an understanding ear to vent to, i'm here!

blessings,
-Tracie

The Muse said...

Bill him! LOL...
I laugh, but ... after a month...you have a NEW boy on your hands!

lailani said...

LOL! oh great advice. I have to admit, I did do to him what I did my 15 year old about the hair in the drain - I got it out with a piece of toilet paper and left it on the pillow. 15 yr old did not like it and has been much better about taking care of the tub! I have considered the paper plate/cup thing. Thanks for metioning it, it might be the plan that works!

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Sounds like my husband...when it comes to housekeeping, he has attention deficit...LOL...perhaps, Ocho's is undiagnosed??? LOL. Best wishes...~Janine XO

Aleta said...

Yikes! I lived at my parents' home until I was 24. I was in charge of cleaning and if I left dishes in the sink or a nasty bathroom, they'd have given me a taste of their mind. It is disrespectful. It's your home. Good grief!

skoots1mom said...

god bless you...
will be sending special prayers your way
omgoodness, i wouldn't last through a teenage son

Jan the crazy lady said...

Brings back some bad memories. Funny though looking back :)

Gayle said...

I wonder, does he honestly forget the things he is supposed to do, or is he trying to see how much he can get away with? I don't know the answer. The hair on the pillow sounds like it should work for that problem!

FancyHorse said...

Oh, my, adjusting to family and household changes are hard, aren't they? I think if he's working, he ought to contribute to the household in some way, if not by helping out, then financially. You're not asking much of him, after all!

PS He has a nice smile in the picture on the sidebar.

word verification game
dogratio: the hours a dog sleeps/the hours a dog begs to go out or come in

fishing guy said...

Lailani: Even the best kids go through strange phases. It is a time of adjutment and rles should be shared and enforced.

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

oh honey...Lorelai has been home (starting her summer break) for about 31 hours and I'm so exhausted from being her servant that I can't go to sleep...hence reading blogs at 12:53 AM. We're going to have a SERIOUS talk tomorrow.

vchelle said...

Oh yes, you will survive! LOL! Girl, let me tell you that I helped raise three young teenage step-sons and you can believe I have some stories... About the dirty dish thing? I just got paper plates and recycled!! They are grown and gone now but from the toilet scenes to the "all-you-can-eat" buffet style antics when it came to eating, I can tell you that I lived off of chocalate!!!! A whole damn lot of it!!! LOL!