Well Ocho, my stepson, has been moved in since February 14th. We knew there would be some adjustment, and there was and there is!
The first few weeks were quite pleasant. Life has leveled off to not much interaction. He sleeps until he has to go to work, works until 10, 10:30 and stays up late to sleep much of the next day. That in itself might not be that big of deal but some other issues have surfaced.
Like last minute need to wash clothes. Sometimes that means only one outfit. Hits me in my "don't waste" side. I have also realized that he, and Demolition D and The Man might need to be watched for how much laundry detergent they are using. That 32 load container that I grabbed to tie us over last Friday is basically gone, but 32 loads have not gone through that laundry room.
The leaving on of lights and TV's had waned, but in the past week has become too much work to do, apparently. So lights are staying on all night again (and I have chosen to try to ignore and not give up my sleep when I wake and notice). I guess it could be that he has his days and nights mixed up and does not realize that the lit room is actually lit by way of electricity and not natural solar energy. hmmmmm.
The no curfew in exchange for respect of letting us know his plans for the evening (coming home or staying with friends) has had its glitches, but I choose to leave that alone. Demolition D seems unaware of what is happening. So we will leave that battle out.
Then there is the issue of the kitchen. He is more than welcome to fix whatever he would like. The same rules apply though - clean up behind yourself! We now realize that is not a rule, it must be an option. There is a double sink in our kitchen. But we don't hand wash dishes, and even if we did, why should we, Will or myself, after a long day wash the dishes of a completely, healthy, functioning adult??? I digress, we have a double sink, running water, but even better yet, we have this modern appliance called a dishwasher.
It is only a couple inches from the sink.
Why can't the dishes as easily go straight into the dishwasher as into the sink? Why are we responsible for loading his dirty dishes, and seeing to it that the dishwasher runs and emptying the contraption? Well, we don't mind the last two, I would like to find the dishes once they are put up. So we will continue that. BUT, the dirty dishes and food in the sink. Not good.
So Will, respectfully "adult" to "adult" discusses this with Ocho last week at their lunch. Will tries to have lunch with Ocho once a week, just to spend some time together and chat. It is more a match of 20 questions, single word answers. Anyway, Ocho said he ran out of time. Will clearly let him know we are not his maids. He needs to pick up behind himself (and also get his room cleaned up).
Will also brought up a tub issue - cleaning the tub and drain behind himself, especially since there are three of them sharing and so far only The Man is cleaning the drain - since it won't drain by the time he baths (it is full of hair gaaaaroooooosssss). A dumbfounded looked surfaced and Will reiterated "we are not your maids, do you want to clean our drain." He thought that gross.
So yesterday, we come home from the day. No dinners were cooked at home - dinner at church. There in the sink is a bowl and several utensils and next to that an almost completely empty dishwasher (plenty of room). Ocho gets home later and Will calls into me, "are these your dishes?" (he knows they are not, but in trying to be light . . .) Nope. He asks Ocho, Ocho sighs in aggravation and goes to the kitchen to put them in the dishwasher. Will reminds him he needs to pick up behind himself. Should be good, right?
I get up this morning and all I could do is laugh!! There are crumbs and rice on the counter (not alot, but there) and dirty dishes and food crumbs in the sink! He ate after we went to bed and still did not put his dirty plates in the sink!!!
What is the thought here? Is this a stand of defiance or blatant disrespect?? A missing link that baffles my brain . . .
So, I wonder, what would be the going rate for maid service? Do you think if he were to pay us a cleaning fee it would be less aggravating? And, the next adult arrives at our home in less than two weeks, will we survive?
p.s. I love the way Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman capture the adventure of living with teenagers . . . some are so true!!