Wrestling

Someone was recently talking about a comment they read that said (paraphrased) - I use to think life was mountain tops and valleys but they now think it is more like a train track, the good and bad running along side each other.

I thought, “how true.” I usually have a lot of good going on at the same time as the bad.

I have been there lately. Nothing Earth shattering bad or devastating, but wrestling with many petty issues that seem at times to consume our little spot in the world.

I have had a lot of good lately too. I have been blessed with door openings, new opportunities.

That is why the post have been sporadic. Some days, when I have time to sit down and type, the bad track of this train ride seems to be consuming and draining.

The past few days have been no exception. In the midst of juggling schedules, training kids in the way they should go, rising health care premiums ($165 increase a month!!!!!), Christmas shopping, I have been seeking to show the Christmas spirit, feel the Christmas joy but mostly yearning for Peace.

Saturday, after a wonderful meeting with a new client, that will have me cooking for her and a friend weekly, I headed to the mall to pick up a few items on sale. While still excited about the meeting, I moved quickly through the store.

My cell phone rang the Jack Johnson tune I have set for hubby. I cheerfully answered and he cheerfully responded, but with a little something odd in the tone. He chuckled, because there was not much more to do at that moment, and said “I just had a car roll onto the truck.” He had just been in accident. One of those that you see unfolding before you and landing in your lap.

He said to go ahead and check out before I came. As I quickly, and cautiously, left the mall I felt whiney. “Lord, can we have a break for awhile, can things just be calm…” You know, level, boring for goodness sake.

I got to the intersection with the accident and took in the site.

Be thankful in all things? Yes, I could. Not a single person was hurt!

As the light turned green, my husband waited to make a left hand turn. As the White Explorer headed in his direction, he noticed a truck coming from the left, it was not slowing down. When the truck realized he was running a red light and into the Explorer, he slammed on brakes and tried to turn, in doing so, still nailed the back of the Explorer causing it to roll, rolling into the front of my husband’s truck.

About four years ago, in Kansas, a week before Christmas, a cousin (at least 10 years older than me) that I had not seen since I was child, was sitting at a red light waiting. A similar scenario, car runs light hits another car. But that other car did not just roll, it went air born, landing on the cab of the truck my cousin was driving. He did not survive.

As I looked at that accident I felt bad for complaining. And as odd as it is, while waiting to find out if a new car payment is headed our way, or if we will be one vehicle short while waiting for the repair – there is peace about it all.

Maybe all those irritations of life just help cushion us for the bigger irritants.

This morning, as I churned over repetitive irritants with the offspring living under our roof, I sat down to check my email. A friend had forwarded an email to me – a daily devotion she receives. The story was about the wrestling Joseph experienced, the wrestling of what to do with a pregnant betrothed, pregnant not by him, all his conflicting thoughts and feelings. So appropriate for this season itself, and for the season our family is in. One particular section I wanted to share:

Many of us come to Advent wrestling and waiting; life has us in a head-lock and we’re trying desperately to find the right move that will loosen its grip. With the Psalmist we ask “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts?” (Ps. 13:2). Christmas doesn’t change the fact that we’re wrestling with decisions that need to be made, decisions we wish could make over again, afflicted bodies, conflicted relationships and competing expectations. We wrestle through one challenge only to face another.

But in the midst of the wrestling, Joseph’s and ours, there is this assurance: the Holy Spirit is at work. To see it may require waiting, long waiting and still more wrestling. But God is active in your wrestling story.

My wrestling match is so insignificant to the matches others may be facing, but obstacles and opportunities for all of us, whatever they may be, are that: obstacles, and many times overwhelming, mystifying, stressful, and uncomfortable. So for, whatever your challenge is today, here is the prayer from that devotion:

Grant to us, O God, the patience to trust you in all things and the strength to wrestle long until we see your hand at work: show your hand in the difficult situations, the perplexing questions, the stubborn circumstances that refuse to budge. Be present with us in the struggles of this day, making us confident as we wrestle and wait in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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