I have to say, for the most part, making the decision and taking that first step has lifted a weight off my shoulders.
I am still not thrilled. There have been moments when I have told someone that we are not going to be opened much longer, and the emotions have reared their head. I have been given suggestions on paths to take to continue, all of which have already been researched out and the brick wall left a knot on my head.
But . . . we are moving forward.
I sold the first sandwich table unit last week. Have six left.
Thursday, I was busy putting meals together for orders, when someone came in. As I headed up front, I saw this gentleman, with his curls and a cute (as in geeky cute) smile. He started his sale on the small business insurance he was offering and I stopped him and told him I was closing the end of June.
He looked me in the eye and said, "It is like having your heart ripped out, huh?"
I agreed and he spoke some more.
He had a factory, a smaller factory of a larger corporation. When it closed, employees from the other two sites, remaining open, converged on the now closed business grabbing up whatever they wanted and could use for their own factories.
He said at one point, a man turned to him and said "this is great! Just like Christmas, don't you think?"
The disappointed man looked at him and said "no, actually this feels more like cleaning out my grandpa's house after he died..."
He wished me luck and headed on.
I felt like I was a given a gift. A gift of compassion, but also a gift of validation. Those feelings coming and going were and are normal.
The same day I came across this devotional about a rose bush, about separating and how it will spread and grow more. You can read the whole post here, while all of it was wonderful, this paragraph touched me most :
- It's hard when God allows our hopes to be shattered, our hearts to be broken, our relationships to be fractured, our fears to be realized. I really doubted any good could come from such loss. I doubted that I could make it through the pain.Like the uprooting of that rose bush some of my leaves wilted, some stems were cut back, petals fell to the ground and some branches had more thorns than blossoms for a while. It took time for me to get re-established in new soil. But God plan for His glory became evident each day that I surrendered to His power and trusted His plans more than mine.
The notice of the store closing has stirred up more orders and larger orders than I have had in a while. I am glad that bills coming due will have the revenue needed that I might not have had otherwise. I am hoping for the best month I have ever had - going out with a bang!