Words

I love to read. I long to be able to sit and get lost in a novel again, it has been too long. But even though I love to read, I am definitely not an English major.


Years ago, when I took American and British Lit in college, I decided something – I was absolutely no good at deciphering what an author intended with his/her work of art. I found picking apart a work of literature daunting. I found no enjoyment in the process at all. I felt it was insulting to the author for us to think we could assume what they thought and what they truly felt. And I was always wrong with my answers.

For example, Robert Frost’s Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, we were asked to read and write what we thought the images meant, what we thought the author felt. I remember what I wrote, basically that the rider was taking in the quiet, the solitude, the freshness of the falling snow; the peacefulness of the woods. I was wrong. The teacher informed us it was about death, most likely suicide (because it had been noted that Robert Frost wrote this during a time of depression). I went back and re-read it just now, it still makes me think of peacefulness, the quiet of the woods with the freshness of the falling snow. I soon decided that all literature is apparently about death thoughts or only the dark side of ones moods. Maybe that teacher was a little obsessed by such.

We have a new associate pastor at our church. Well, I suppose he is not new anymore. Come June it will be a year. He is young, married a couple years and just recently joined the ranks of fatherhood.

His passion to share God’s word is inspiring. His approach to sharing God’s word makes me want to stand up, clap my hand’s and say “yada yada yada, can you get to the point?!?” Yes, I am sure God has some wonderful repercussion for me for such immaturity, but there is a point to this.

This pastor was an English major before going into seminary. On Wednesday nights he teaches us. Like an English lit teacher.

Now, I think that is great for those who think that way. By that way I mean, he compares verses to each other and talks about the parallels. He uses terms that I last heard when learning about the rhythms in poetry. He finds symbolism in items that I have never heard presented that way before (which is not a bad thing). But some of this just gets drawn out way too far for my simple mind.

My husband, the engineer, is who put his finger on why we were having such a hard time listening to many of these messages. He said he had his doubts that God planned out His word to have all these rhythms and have these parallels and the copious amounts of symbolism that has been presented, seemed like an awful lot of work to decipher and why would God have it so cryptic. I wondered about that too, because some of us would NEVER tie all that together, like Jesus being born in the manger, which was essentially a cave and then being buried in a cave. I would not have thought of that hidden message. Or the Myrrh being given by the wise men as a symbol of the death to come and the fragrance used to cover the odor. Really? Kinda took the sweetness of the birth out of the picture.

Ok, Ok, I will wrap this up. I said all this to say I had an epiphany the other day. As I was driving and listening to the radio, a quick message came on from one of the Proverbs 31 women. She was talking about relationships and how tangled some could be. That caused me to listen to closer.

She said sometimes it is hard to pray for these relationships because the emotions are too strong and take over and we start thinking and talking more than praying.

Then she said that she believed God being called Messiah was intentional due to all the “mess” we end up in and that we need to remember, when in a “mess” to think of the “Mess”iah.

Now my initial thought was, I don’t know that God did that. Then it hit me. If I truly believe that God is all things to all people. That He is omniscient and omnipresent, then why not?

No, I don’t really believe that God thought hey, let me have Jesus called Messiah because it starts with Mess and all these crazy humans end up in messes. No, but I do think God has made it possible for those words He inspired to having meaning to many, on many different levels, in many different areas of interest. Those that need meter and rhymes, it is there. Those that need a little bit of Harlequin romance, well there is some of that too. Love? Revenge? Law and Order? It is there. Those who doubt? yup, another fine example.

I am glad He created life so that each is unique in their own way. I find comfort in that He has inspired the world and words around us to speak to each of us in the way we hear and feel that meets our own individual uniqueness.

The Sand Dollar

I loved finding all the sand dollars at the beach. I vaguely remembered a story about the dove shaped shells inside, so when one broke, I was sure to get a picture.

I looked the poem up, and until then had not realized there were other characteristics about the sand dollar that I had not noticed - on the back of the sand dollar, I do not have a picture for that. But I thought I would share the poem and the pictures I do have.

The Legend of the Sand Dollar

There’s a lovely little legend

that I would like to tell,

of the birth and death of Jesus,

found in this lowly shell.

If you examine closely,

you’ll see that you find here,

four nail holes and a fifth one,

made by a Roman’s spear.

On one side the Easter lily, its center is the star, that appeared unto the shepherds and led them from afar.

The Christmas Poinsettia etched on the other side,

reminds us of His birthday,

our happy Christmastide.

Now break the center open,and here you will release,

the five white doves awaiting,

to spread Good Will and Peace.

This simple little symbol,

Christ left for you and me,

to help us spread His Gospel,

through all Eternity.

Author Unknown

Going Out Of Business

I have sent emails about the closing of the store.



I have to say, for the most part, making the decision and taking that first step has lifted a weight off my shoulders.



I am still not thrilled. There have been moments when I have told someone that we are not going to be opened much longer, and the emotions have reared their head. I have been given suggestions on paths to take to continue, all of which have already been researched out and the brick wall left a knot on my head.



But . . . we are moving forward.



I sold the first sandwich table unit last week. Have six left.



Thursday, I was busy putting meals together for orders, when someone came in. As I headed up front, I saw this gentleman, with his curls and a cute (as in geeky cute) smile. He started his sale on the small business insurance he was offering and I stopped him and told him I was closing the end of June.

He looked me in the eye and said, "It is like having your heart ripped out, huh?"

I agreed and he spoke some more.

He had a factory, a smaller factory of a larger corporation. When it closed, employees from the other two sites, remaining open, converged on the now closed business grabbing up whatever they wanted and could use for their own factories.

He said at one point, a man turned to him and said "this is great! Just like Christmas, don't you think?"

The disappointed man looked at him and said "no, actually this feels more like cleaning out my grandpa's house after he died..."

He wished me luck and headed on.

I felt like I was a given a gift. A gift of compassion, but also a gift of validation. Those feelings coming and going were and are normal.

The same day I came across this devotional about a rose bush, about separating and how it will spread and grow more. You can read the whole post here, while all of it was wonderful, this paragraph touched me most :

• It's hard when God allows our hopes to be shattered, our hearts to be broken, our relationships to be fractured, our fears to be realized. I really doubted any good could come from such loss. I doubted that I could make it through the pain.Like the uprooting of that rose bush some of my leaves wilted, some stems were cut back, petals fell to the ground and some branches had more thorns than blossoms for a while. It took time for me to get re-established in new soil. But God plan for His glory became evident each day that I surrendered to His power and trusted His plans more than mine.

The notice of the store closing has stirred up more orders and larger orders than I have had in a while. I am glad that bills coming due will have the revenue needed that I might not have had otherwise. I am hoping for the best month I have ever had - going out with a bang!

Following

Sometimes following gets one in trouble.

Sometimes not.

This morning on my run to Sam's, a fellow shopper - his name is unknown to me, but has a little country store about 20 miles away - saw me and said "hey, follow me." I laughed and responded with the first sentence of this post.

Then I followed him.

Hickory Smoked Turkeys - 10lb average for $4.01!!!

I am glad I followed. I don't need the turkeys, but there is someone who does - who might not have lucked up on the sale.

This morning I woke, checked out Proverbs 31's daily devotion. It was about hearing God. About being lead by God. I so want to be lead and go down the path HE has for me. I know it will be better than the one I would follow with my own perspective and sense, of my own devices. Sometimes I can't seem to see the light He has set for my path. I think it is mixed in with all the busyness of my mind and plans. Here is the prayer that ended the devotion:

Heavenly Father, I need direction in my life today. You seem distant and silent. Yet I know that You are not because You promise to never leave me or forsake me. Today, I commit to search Your Word. Open my eyes that I may see the wonderful things in Your Law. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear Your direction in my circumstances. Thank You, Lord, that in my seeking You will meet me. Thank You that as I trust in You completely, You will lead me down Your paths! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I love it , I love the direction it set my day!

I know it was just some silly turkeys - but could it have been some direction? A direction to something to offer another person/group that really needs it? I hope so. I hope my day is filled with turkey opportunities - that are directed by God . . .

” They will soar on wings like eagles “

Isaiah 40 v 31 (NIV)

God is Good . . .

So very good . . . cause in His time it all comes together.

As I tumbled this morning into one bodacious cry fest . . . I mean pitiful, gut wrenching, splotchy faced, red nosed, would you just get a hold of yourself girl! kinda cry… I hope He looked down from on High . . . and, I hope, with a smile and a shake of His head, he just thought what a silly one! Knowing that needs were to be met!

Why is it so hard and such a struggle at times to stand on faith and be patient? Do you struggle with this? What do you do when you just can't muster up more than a mustard seed?

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Luke 12-7

(ah shucks, go away tear!!)

Ask and Receive?

Isn’t it great when you know a prayer is answered? Even a simple one?
I have had a little much needed time off. But I was not looking forward to returning to the routine. I love what I do, but there is apprehension with not knowing what to expect. So not liking the feeling of being slightly overwhelmed with the what if thoughts, I prayed. Prayed that God would use me, that I would feel invigorated about work. And it worked. I got to work and jumped in in getting set up. I felt energized and cheerful.

I asked . . . I recieved . . .

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Now for not asking . . .

Then the snakes in my head woke up. Not about work, that part is still good. Traveler leaves back for school today. This holiday has been different from others due to the fact that we were the portal to World War Craft – online gaming, and we have internet, so she needed our home. We were in the presence of Traveler more than any other vacation/holiday. Granted, she was like The Man with his games, transfixed with the need to be only in the presence with the game itself. There was more interaction between the two of us, so that was a step in the right direction. Poor hubby has to deal with me wanting a friendly relationship and Traveler not being aware that there is any problem and being perfectly happy with things.

I had suggested last week that hubby take Traveler to lunch Friday, since she was leaving. That way they could have some “non-computer” time to chat. They did. We, hubby and me, had decided to take the boys to see a movie Friday night. I invited Traveler to go with us and she did. We had a really good time. While she was here, she made a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches on our little George Foreman. We were given a larger one for Christmas, so I offered for her to take it back to school. She is and she told her dad about it and was excited. She is vegetarian, so I sent two Loaded Baked Potato casseroles with her. Well sorta, she forgot them so we needed to get them to her today. She asked her dad to have lunch with her. I told him I would get them into a bag today and they could pick them up from me at the shop when they went to lunch.

Ok, so this is where the snakes come in. Inclusion – the state of being included. Somehow, this morning, in my mind, I decided they might invite me to join them. Many Tuesday’s I can’t leave for lunch, but today I could. Granted, hubby did not know that, but still, being invited, included would have been nice. So with all the aggravation and truly extreme differences in Traveler’s and my views, I still wanted to be included to feel accepted. Which I know if hubby read this would think is crazy! I also know that is rather narcissistic, but those were my thoughts, my desires.

So while one prayer was answered, I guess I forgot to continue to pray for the relationship between Traveler and me. I am sure come May, after graduation, we will have our next opportunity of togetherness. I don’t know what my prayer would be, except “Lord have Thine own way. . .”

Song of the Week for me!